You sit down. You start watching your breath. Then the questions begin: "Am I doing this right? Is this what it's supposed to feel like? Should I be more focused? Less focused? Am I trying too hard? Not hard enough? What if I'm wasting my time? What if I've been doing this wrong for months?"
The spiral of self-doubt is one of meditation's most insidious obstacles. Not because the questions are invalid—but because asking them constantly IS the problem.
The Spiral Pattern
How It Starts
You sit and begin practice.
A thought arises: "Am I doing this correctly?"
That thought generates more thoughts: "Should I be more focused? Am I too focused? Is this meditation or just sitting? What am I supposed to feel?"
Which generate more: "Other people probably get this. I'm probably doing it wrong. Maybe meditation isn't for me. But I've been doing it for months—shouldn't I know by now?"
What Happens Next
Attention splits: Half on practice, half on evaluating practice.
The evaluation takes over: You're no longer meditating—you're thinking about meditating.
The session becomes: Commentary on meditation rather than meditation itself.
The Irony
What you're doing: Thinking about whether you're thinking too much.
The meta-layer: Doubt about doubt. Uncertainty about uncertainty.
The paralysis: So busy evaluating that no actual practice happens.
Why This Happens
Meditation Is Subtle
The challenge: There's no immediate, obvious feedback. You can't tell if you're doing it right like you can with tennis or piano.
The uncertainty: Without clear markers, the mind fills the gap with doubt.
We're Achievement-Oriented
The conditioning: We're trained to measure progress, optimize performance, get results.
The application: Same mindset applied to meditation—but meditation doesn't work that way.
The conflict: Achievement orientation creates constant evaluation.
Perfectionism
The pattern: If you can't do it perfectly, something's wrong. Must identify and fix the error.
The loop: Constant scanning for mistakes. Every imperfection confirms doing it wrong.
Comparison
The assumption: Others are doing it right. Their minds are quiet. They experience bliss.
The judgment: My experience isn't like that. Therefore I'm failing.
The reality: You're comparing your inside to imagined others' outsides.
Not Trusting the Process
The doubt: Will this actually work? Is this worth my time?
The result: Constant questioning instead of consistent practice.
What the Spiral Prevents
Actual Practice
The substitution: You're not meditating—you're thinking about meditating.
The time: A 20-minute session where 18 minutes are spent doubting isn't 20 minutes of practice.
Settling
The disturbance: Constant mental questioning keeps the mind active.
The prevention: The settling that would naturally occur can't happen with ongoing commentary.
Direct Experience
The filter: Experience gets filtered through evaluation rather than directly known.
The separation: You're one step removed—observing and judging rather than simply being with.
Trust
The erosion: Every spiral weakens trust in yourself and the practice.
The compounding: The more you doubt, the less you trust, the more you doubt.
Recognizing the Pattern
Signs You're In It
The questions: - "Am I doing this right?" - "Is this what it's supposed to feel like?" - "Should my mind be more quiet?" - "Am I meditating or just sitting?" - "Is this working?"
The feeling: Uncertainty, self-judgment, frustration.
The activity: Mind very busy with evaluation.
Noticing the Noticing
The first step: Recognize: "I'm in the spiral."
The meta-awareness: You can observe yourself doubting. That observation is already a shift.
The choice: Once recognized, you have options.
Breaking the Spiral
Return to Basics
The simplest instruction: "Attend to breath. When you notice you've wandered, return."
The application: You've wandered into doubt. Return to breath.
The treatment: Treat the spiral like any other distraction—notice it, let it go, come back.
Let the Question Be
The approach: "Am I doing this right?" arises. Instead of answering or engaging, just let it be.
The practice: Doubt is just another thought. Watch it. Return to breath.
The non-engagement: You don't have to answer the question. You don't have to solve the doubt.
Trust the Method
The faith: Millions of people have practiced this way. The methods work.
The surrender: You don't have to figure it out right now. Just practice.
The time: Understanding comes with practice, not from thinking about practice.
Lower the Stakes
The reframe: It's just sitting. Just breathing. Not a performance. Not a test.
The lightness: What if there's no wrong way? What if showing up is enough?
The permission: You're allowed to practice imperfectly. That's still practice.
Set Aside Evaluation
The agreement: For this session, no evaluation. Evaluation can happen later.
The postponement: "I'll assess my practice next month. Not during this session."
The freedom: Temporarily releasing evaluation allows actual practice.
Use the Spiral as Practice
The pivot: When spiral arises, make it the object.
The observation: Notice the quality of doubt. Where is it felt? What does it want?
The irony: The spiral becomes an opportunity for awareness practice.
Longer-Term Solutions
Clarify the Instructions
The foundation: If you're unsure about technique, get clear. Study, ask a teacher, learn.
The benefit: Solid technical understanding reduces doubt.
The limit: But some doubt persists regardless. Clarity helps but doesn't eliminate.
Experience Accumulates
The development: With more practice, you develop sense for what meditation feels like.
The familiarity: Experience reduces uncertainty. You learn what sessions are like.
The patience: This takes time. Months and years, not days.
Work with a Teacher
The benefit: A teacher can tell you if you're on track. External validation helps.
The feedback: Specific guidance for your specific questions.
The relationship: Ongoing guidance provides ongoing reassurance.
Redefine Success
The shift: Success isn't perfect focus or blissful states.
The definition: Success is showing up and practicing consistently.
The measure: Did you sit? Did you attempt the practice? That's success.
Accept Uncertainty
The truth: You may never be certain you're doing it right.
The liberation: That's okay. Certainty isn't required.
The practice: Practice with uncertainty. Let doubt be present. Continue anyway.
What "Doing It Right" Actually Means
The Minimal Requirements
Doing it right means: - Sitting (or lying, or walking) with intention to practice - Applying the technique you've learned - Noticing when you've wandered - Returning to the object
That's it.
What Doesn't Matter
Whether: - Your mind is quiet or noisy - You feel peaceful or agitated - You stay focused or wander constantly - The session feels good or bad
None of these determine correctness.
The Inevitable Imperfection
The reality: Your mind will wander. You'll have distracted sessions. You'll wonder if you're doing it right.
The normalcy: This IS correct practice. Imperfect sessions are real sessions.
The Deeper Truth
The Question IS the Answer
The recognition: If you're asking "Am I doing this right?" you're aware enough to ask.
The implication: That awareness is already practice. You're not totally lost.
Doubt Reveals Caring
The meaning: If you didn't care, you wouldn't doubt.
The acknowledgment: Your investment in doing this well is evident in your questioning.
Practice Over Perfection
The priority: Consistent imperfect practice beats sporadic perfect practice.
The direction: Keep practicing. Keep returning. That's the path.
Beyond Right and Wrong
The liberation: Eventually, the question falls away. You just sit. You just practice.
The development: This comes from practicing through the doubt, not from answering it.
The Bottom Line
The "Am I doing this right?" spiral is nearly universal. It arises from uncertainty, perfectionism, achievement orientation, and comparison.
To break it: - Recognize when you're in it - Treat the spiral as distraction—notice and return - Don't engage with or try to answer the questions - Lower the stakes—it's just sitting - Trust that practice works even when imperfect
The spiral IS thinking. And meditation is about coming back from thinking. Every time you notice the spiral and return to practice, you're doing it right.
Keep sitting.
Return is a meditation timer for practitioners at every stage, including those wrestling with doubt. No guidance telling you what you should experience, no tracking to trigger comparison—just a simple timer to support your practice, however imperfect. Download Return on the App Store.