Fear of failure is obvious—who wants to lose? But many athletes carry a less visible fear: fear of success. This isn't about wanting to fail; it's about unconsciously fearing what success brings. Recognition, expectation, change, responsibility. Athletes who fear success often sabotage themselves in subtle ways they don't recognize until the pattern becomes undeniable.

Understanding and addressing fear of success through mindfulness allows athletes to pursue excellence without unconscious brakes.

Understanding Fear of Success

What It Is

Fear of success involves unconscious resistance to achieving goals due to feared consequences of that achievement.

Key characteristics: - Not wanting to fail, but also not quite wanting to succeed - Self-sabotage at critical moments - Relief mixed with disappointment after near-misses - Anxiety when success becomes likely

What Success Threatens

Athletes may fear success because of what follows:

Increased expectations: - "Now I have to maintain this level" - Standards rise permanently - Pressure increases

Visibility and scrutiny: - More attention means more judgment - Success makes you a target - Privacy diminishes

Relationship changes: - Friends may become jealous - Peer dynamics shift - Family relationships change

Identity shift: - "I'm not the person who succeeds like this" - Comfort zone disrupted - Self-concept must expand

Responsibility: - Success brings obligations - Leadership expectations - Role model pressure

Loss of excuses: - "I could have if I wanted to" - Potential feels safer than proven limitations - Success reveals actual ceiling

Signs of Fear of Success

Behavioral patterns: - Choking in championship situations - Performing brilliantly except when it matters most - Self-sabotage before big opportunities - Injuries or illness at critical times - Underperforming relative to training

Emotional patterns: - Anxiety when winning is likely - Relief after losses that "shouldn't" have happened - Discomfort with recognition - Deflecting praise aggressively - Ambivalence about pursuing higher levels

Cognitive patterns: - Thoughts undermining success ("I can't handle this level") - Envisioning negative consequences of winning - Minimizing goals to stay "safe" - Telling self you don't really want success

Why Athletes Develop This Fear

Early Experiences

Parental responses to success: - Envy or competition from parents - Increased control after success - "Don't get too big for your britches" - Success brought punishment or increased demands

Peer responses: - Friendship loss after outperforming friends - Social isolation for standing out - Learned to underperform to fit in

Coach responses: - Success brought harder training - Recognition felt like burden - Expectations became overwhelming

Tall poppy syndrome: - Cultures that cut down those who stand out - "Who do you think you are?" - Pressure to stay in place

Gender considerations: - Women may face backlash for visible success - Success can threaten relationships - Confidence gets labeled negatively

Team dynamics: - Success might disrupt team harmony - Standing out feels like betrayal - Individual success vs. collective identity

Psychological Patterns

Comfort zone protection: - Current state is known - Success brings unknown - Unconscious prefers familiar discomfort to unfamiliar success

Self-worth issues: - "I don't deserve success" - Success feels incongruent with self-image - Must sabotage to return to "normal"

Control concerns: - Success brings changes you can't control - Others' expectations control your life - Staying below radar maintains autonomy

The Self-Sabotage Mechanisms

How Fear of Success Operates

Before opportunities: - Insufficient preparation (excuse if you fail) - Creating obstacles (overtraining, poor sleep, conflict) - "Forgetting" important details

During performance: - Choking at critical moments - Making uncharacteristic errors - Backing off when ahead - "Mysterious" physical symptoms

After near-success: - Relief mingled with disappointment - Explanations for why it's okay you didn't succeed - Not learning from the pattern

The Comfort Zone of Almost

"Almost" feels safe: - Proves you could have succeeded - Maintains potential without reality - Avoids consequences of actual success

The pattern: - Compete brilliantly until success is imminent - Something goes wrong at the critical moment - Return to comfortable "almost" position - Repeat

Recognizing Your Pattern

Questions to ask: - Do I perform worse when success is most possible? - Is there a pattern in my near-misses? - Do I feel relief when I don't quite succeed? - What would change if I actually achieved my goal? - What do I fear about success?

Mindfulness Approaches

Awareness Practice

The first step is recognizing the fear:

Fear of success meditation (15 minutes): 1. Settle, relax, breathe 2. Visualize achieving your biggest athletic goal 3. Notice all feelings that arise—not just positive ones 4. Observe: fear, anxiety, discomfort? 5. Ask: "What am I afraid will happen?" 6. Sit with whatever arises without judgment 7. Breathe, accept, release

Exploring the Fear

Journaling practice: Write responses to: - "If I succeed at the highest level, I'm afraid that..." - "The worst thing about being successful would be..." - "Success would change my relationships by..." - "I don't deserve success because..." - "If I succeed, people will expect..."

Let the unconscious speak. The answers may surprise you.

Processing Root Causes

Past experience meditation: 1. Recall early experiences with success 2. What happened when you succeeded as a child? 3. What messages did you receive about success? 4. Notice how those messages affect you now 5. Ask: "Is this still true? Does it have to be?" 6. Breathe compassion into those memories

Tolerating Success

Success visualization practice: Instead of visualizing achieving goals (which may trigger fear), visualize living with the achieved goal:

See yourself after success
Notice the expectations, visibility, responsibility
See yourself handling these
Build tolerance for the "after" of success
Make success familiar rather than threatening

Cognitive Strategies

Examining Feared Consequences

For each fear, ask: 1. Is this actually true? 2. If true, how bad would it really be? 3. What could I do about it? 4. What's the cost of avoiding success to prevent this?

Example: Fear: "If I win the championship, everyone will expect me to repeat" Examination: - Is this true? Probably - How bad? Pressure increases, but I've handled pressure - What could I do? Manage expectations, focus on process - Cost of avoidance? Never winning to avoid expectations—that's a poor trade

Reframing Success

From threat to opportunity: - "Success brings pressure" → "Success brings opportunities to grow" - "People will expect more" → "I'll have a platform to compete at higher levels" - "Relationships will change" → "I'll learn who truly supports me"

From all-or-nothing to process: - Success isn't a permanent state to maintain - Each competition is fresh - Success today doesn't obligate success tomorrow

Separating Success from Worth

Key insight: - Success doesn't make you a better person - Failure doesn't make you a worse person - You can be worthy regardless of achievement - Success is about performance, not identity

This separation reduces stakes around success.

Practical Applications

Before Competition

Pre-competition protocol: 1. Notice any anxiety about potential success 2. Name it: "Fear of success is present" 3. Accept: "It's okay for this fear to be here" 4. Commit: "I'm going to perform my best anyway" 5. Focus: Return attention to process

During Competition

When leading: - Notice urge to back off - Recognize pattern if present - Stay with process focus - Continue executing regardless of internal resistance

At critical moments: - Treat championship point like any other point - Present-moment focus - Trust preparation - Allow success to happen

After Success

Success processing: 1. Acknowledge the success ("I did this") 2. Notice any discomfort 3. Allow the discomfort without running from it 4. Process feared consequences as they arise (or don't) 5. Build tolerance for the post-success state

Long-Term Work

Building success tolerance: - Practice accepting compliments - Allow recognition without deflecting - Sit with discomfort of visibility - Gradually expand comfort with achievement

For Different Fears

If You Fear Expectations

Strategies: - Separate others' expectations from your own - You can't control what others expect - Focus on your standards, your process - "I compete for me, not for expectations"

Mindfulness practice: - Notice when you're performing for expectations - Return to internal motivation - Release need to meet external standards

If You Fear Relationship Changes

Strategies: - Quality relationships survive success - Success reveals relationship reality - True supporters want your success - You'll find new relationships at new levels

Mindfulness practice: - Notice fear of losing connections - Accept that relationships evolve - Trust that you'll handle changes

If You Fear Visibility

Strategies: - Visibility can be managed - You control engagement level - Success doesn't require being public - Many successful athletes maintain privacy

Mindfulness practice: - Distinguish success from celebrity - Visualize success with desired visibility level - Practice boundaries around attention

If You Fear Change

Strategies: - Change is constant regardless - You're changing anyway—choose direction - Success gives you more options, not fewer - You can handle what comes

Mindfulness practice: - Notice attachment to current state - Recognize current state isn't static - Build acceptance for inevitable change

Working With Support

Talking About Fear of Success

Unlike fear of failure, fear of success can feel embarrassing to admit. But sharing helps:

With coaches: - "I've noticed I tend to underperform when success is most possible" - "I want to work on finishing strong when I'm ahead"

With sports psychologists: - Directly address fear of success - Explore root causes - Develop specific strategies

With trusted teammates: - "Do you ever feel anxious about actually winning?" - Normalize the experience - Support each other through success

Professional Support

Consider professional help if: - Self-sabotage pattern is clear and persistent - Root causes feel deep and painful - Unable to address on your own - Significantly limiting career

Key Takeaways

Fear of success is real—it's not wanting to fail, but unconsciously fearing success's consequences
It manifests as self-sabotage—choking, injuries, underperformance at critical moments
Root causes vary—early experiences, relationships, identity, control concerns
Awareness is first—recognize the pattern before you can change it
Explore the fear—understand specifically what you're afraid success will bring
Build success tolerance—visualize and practice being comfortable with achievement
Success is just performance—it doesn't change your worth or obligate your future

Return is a meditation timer for athletes ready to pursue success without unconscious barriers. Build the awareness and resilience that allows you to achieve your full potential. Download Return on the App Store.